Gluten-Free Vegan Paleo Banana Bread with Kale and Black Beans
Ingredients
Back in Paleolithic era things were tough. This was basically before the agricultural revolution brought us modern conveniences like cities or religions that are still practiced.
- Two Macho Bananas, big tough and raw like you hunted or gathered them yourself
- Two stalks of celery
- Red Bell Pepper
- Dinosaur Kale, just like gramps used to ride from his mud hut to go check on the R&D team trying to make fire
- cumin seeds
- oregano
- canned black beans
- pre-made salsa. I’m partial to Herdez and La Costena but if all you got is Tostitos you’re still living way easier than some guy who only has a stone axe and a gnawing sense that he’ll die tomorrow if he doesn’t eat today.
- olive oil
- coconut oil
- edible flowers. I’d love to tell you what kind, but the CSA delivery list this week was just like, “edible flowers” and we were like, “that could really mean a few different things, my guy.”
To Prepare
Since this is a paleo meal, it’s appropriate to recruit your wife to also help in the kitchen, as long as she’s barefoot. Ask her if she minds chopping the bell pepper and celery while you:
Preheat olive oil in a medium to large pot and pour the cumin seeds in.
Preheat a generous layer of coconut oil in a 12” cast iron pan.
Stir the chopped pepper and celery into the cumin and let it cook for a few minutes.
Chop the macho bananas on a bias cut roughly a half inch thick. Thicker is fine but much thinner might get crispy. Add them to the cast iron pan. They should be gently simmering; adjust heat as needed.
Strip stems from the kale and ask your wife to rinse them; also to re-use the same colander / salad spinner to rinse the black beans.
Stir and flip the macho bananas often. They’ll get golden and then lightly or substantially browned.
Stir the kale and beans into the celery and bell pepper. One of you should alternate flipping macho bananas and stirring the pot while the other one queues up the “she’ll marry me; she won’t marry me” scene from the Robin Williams Popeye movie and peels petals off the flowers.
Add some salsa to the beans and kale before it dries out. We blended a few together because they were on hand and this meal is all about gathering up what’s in the environment around us for nourishment.
Plate the macho bananas individually before they get overdone (if this is unfamiliar: the brown bits are carmelized and absolutely delicious until they get pretty dark). Add the beans + vegetable stew and top with flower petals.
Reviews
- 17 out of 17 stars; one of my favorite vegan gluten-free paleo banana bread recipes
- “Fried Plaintains are such a treat. […] This was very good. I could eat this until I hurt myself.” –Vaughnda