Gluten-Free Vegan Paleo Banana Bread with Kale and Black Beans

October 3, 2020


Back in Paleolithic era things were tough. This was basically before the agricultural revolution brought us modern conveniences like cities or religions that are still practiced.

To Prepare

Since this is a paleo meal, it’s appropriate to recruit your wife to also help in the kitchen, as long as she’s barefoot. Ask her if she minds chopping the bell pepper and celery while you:

Preheat olive oil in a medium to large pot and pour the cumin seeds in.
Preheat a generous layer of coconut oil in a 12” cast iron pan.

Stir the chopped pepper and celery into the cumin and let it cook for a few minutes.

Chop the macho bananas on a bias cut roughly a half inch thick. Thicker is fine but much thinner might get crispy. Add them to the cast iron pan. They should be gently simmering; adjust heat as needed.

Strip stems from the kale and ask your wife to rinse them; also to re-use the same colander / salad spinner to rinse the black beans.

Stir and flip the macho bananas often. They’ll get golden and then lightly or substantially browned.

Stir the kale and beans into the celery and bell pepper. One of you should alternate flipping macho bananas and stirring the pot while the other one queues up the “she’ll marry me; she won’t marry me” scene from the Robin Williams Popeye movie and peels petals off the flowers.

Add some salsa to the beans and kale before it dries out. We blended a few together because they were on hand and this meal is all about gathering up what’s in the environment around us for nourishment.

Plate the macho bananas individually before they get overdone (if this is unfamiliar: the brown bits are carmelized and absolutely delicious until they get pretty dark). Add the beans + vegetable stew and top with flower petals.

Photographic Evidence


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Hi mom!