No-bake Gluten-Free Peanut Butter Cookies

Genesis

You’re peckish but also who wants to do dishes or heat up their apartment during a heat wave (even if it still cools down to below 70 at night so like is that even a heat wave anywhere outside of coastal California or are we just seriously fanning ourselves desperately as soon as it hits 78 degrees like “bruh this extreme heat is exhausting my will to live fucking climate change amirite”).

To Prepare

At its simplest this recipe is just peanut butter and maple syrup in a bowl mixed together, but you’re feeling fancy tonight so you add a drop of molasses and a spoonful of kumquat marmalade. Also you’re feeling cheap, so go halfsies on the maple and replace with a pour of sugar and a splash of hot water: Boom, you made lazy simple syrup. Add a little salt and mix.

The consistency you’re aiming for is looser than peanut butter without full on resembling some kind of Skippy gazpacho (and if it’s heading that way your only recourse is to add more peanut butter). Good on crackers, bread, a spoon, and your fingers as you run them around the nearly-clean walls of the bowl trying not to let any go to waste.

Probably obvious but this is great if you’re under sufficient influences that “pouring maple syrup into a bowl” is feeling like some serious cirque du soleil levels of dexterity and heroism. I mean sometimes when you realize what the human body is truly capable of you can’t help but cry.

Reviews

• 9/10, as long as you didn’t want, you know, actual cookies. But is that any different from any other “no-bake” cookie recipes?
• “It’s God Damn Magical. You can quote me on that cause I feel like you will.” – a reviewer who was stone cold sober, seriously.